Disarming, neutralizing a volatile situation or person in negotiations
- R.M. Boylan

- Feb 7
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 10
This video is a segment in a more comprehensive series I've created about negotiations. It covers the "dirty tricks" often employed in negotiations and offers strategies for responding gracefully to an aggressive or volatile individual or group during negotiations.
I explore "hammering" and other predictable tactics used for force and intimidation in negotiations. "Hammering" is increasingly observed among ineffective negotiators. It is a hard bargaining strategy that is competitive, irrational, and often aggressive. This approach emphasizes forcing concessions through threats, pressure, and inflexible demands, which may be accompanied by escalating incivility or other forms of violence or sanctions that hinder a fair and respectful win-win agreement.

Negotiation always involves understanding the perspective of the other party. Insights from developmental psychology and my research on brain development in leaders are crucial for determining if negotiation with a particular party is possible. It's important to remain rational and recognize when it's necessary to take a break or walk away.
I have developed a training program for leaders and managers focused on negotiation, incorporating developmental psychology, the Harvard Negotiation Project, Spin Selling, and Neuroscience. This program can be delivered as in-house training or as one-on-one coaching to help you formulate your negotiation strategy.
I am including a video that highlights the manipulative tactics used by some individuals who tend to misuse hard power to achieve their goals. The video offers counter strategies to employ when an aggressor attempts to divert your attention, overwhelm you with pressure, or exhaust you. It features a case study on Tesla and its negotiations with Sweden regarding labor rights from some time ago. At the time this video was made, the results of Tesla's negotiations with Sweden were not known. However, I understand that both parties eventually reached a favorable agreement.
It is crucial to recognize that the capacity to negotiate depends on brain development, specifically the progression of ego development stages, which consist of multiple levels. In my trainings, I focus on identifying the stage progression level of the person or group you are negotiating with. Resorting to force in negotiations represents one of the lowest stages of human development and should be viewed as a last resort by those who are highly evolved.
References:
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